The Doppler Blog
It was all back to back. I changed career to become a mindset coach, met my husband, went backpacking, got back, got married, got pregnant…then nearly died.
I would describe it as energetic. I try to make the piece striking as I can. I use quite rich colours and I don’t really water the paint down. I kind of use the richness of it to make it stand out. It’s quite thick, textured paint. I build up layers from thinner to thicker and I literally get to the point where I’m just taking it out of the tube - no thinning out of the paint, just putting it on there.
I know right? Singing over a candle lit dinner, with my Spanish Guitar. She’s just like ‘mate what are you doing? We’re having a deliveroo, put the guitar away’. Na yeah, she’s my main inspiration but politics inspires me too - and other musicians. A band I’ve been listening to recently is Idles and the lyrics are so tongue in cheek, like ‘I kissed a guy and I liked it’ but it’s spinning ideals on their head and saying ‘it’s ok for men not to be masculine’ and talking about things like never seeing his father cry which is just so powerful. And behind all that it’s kinda punk.
I have an example that stuck with me. I did a job, I won’t say with who, but on day one we all met up and one of the writers said that she couldn’t understand what I was saying ‘half of the time’ because of my accent. I went away and just sobbed and I felt I didn’t deserve to be there. It was my husband, who is absolutely not in the industry whatsoever at all, who just said to me ‘No. You have just the same right as her to be there’. It was from the moment I just knew, you can’t give other people the power.
We HAVE to let white straight men into the conversation or else we’re all just in an echo-chamber nodding about how liberal and feminist we all are. We already believe in what we’re saying but we need to find a way of addressing feminist issues without making men feel persecuted or excluded because else nothing will ever change.
Depression can be isolating, for the person suffering but also for the people who are immediately around it. So this is what the poem is about - being able to see someone slip into unreachable states but not quite knowing what to do to help them out of it.
Have you ever stood on a bridge, with a 40 feet drop, and thought ‘what if I jumped?’. Maybe not. What about this though - you’re driving at 60 down a motorway and suddenly think, ‘I could just swerve this car right now’. No? Maybe it’s less severe than that. Maybe you’ve just been in a silent room and thought, hey, what if I suddenly shout ‘SHIT’ at the top of my voice.
‘There are two types of girls this Halloween’, my newsfeed reliably informs me. Curious, I delve further. Do tell me internet, knower of all things, what are these two types? Well, according to Facebook, one type is a girl who enjoys dressing as a slinky cat, and the other is a girl who enjoys dressing as a hotdog. I think this is meant to mean something? This polarised depiction of girls has an implicit sense of competition - so, who’s the winner?